As you might’ve read already, my first experience as a workaway was no fairy tale thanks to two young boys. But they weren’t always bad, which is why when my family and friends asked how I was doing with them, I began to refer to them as sour patch kids-sour one minute, sweet the next. Regardless of that, I did learn a few things from these kiddos which I have condensed in the list below. I hope y’all get something out of this.
- Don’t let what others do change you. Many times these kids would say or do things that made me want to be as nasty back. But what good would that have done? I would have been the bad guy. I would have gotten in trouble. And, I would have ultimately felt guilty about it. At the end of the day, I am not a person that wants to hurt others, even if they’ve hurt me. The truth is it’s not other people’s actions that matter. Their actions are completely out of your control. But you can control your reaction to those actions. When someone is mean to you, don’t let it change your values. I’m not saying sit there and take it. I don’t think that’s what being the bigger person is. I think being the bigger person is handling it with maturity and being true to yourself. The pain of ignoring who you are or what your morals are will sting far more than the pain caused by whatever was said or done to you in the first place. At a time where my home, the United States, is under such stress following this week’s election, it is easy to point fingers and spew the same hate for others that one fears. Yes, be angry but don’t let it consume you. Shout for love not hate. Stand together with people and let your support be known through acts of kindness not violence. Continue to be a light when hope for society seems dim.
- Realize you are the one in control. One very hard day, I was on the verge of tears after both kids began calling me names in Spanish just because I was making them read. I caught myself wondering if these things they were saying were true. Am I ugly? Am I annoying? Am I stupid? Shortly after I realized that once you let what other people say about you, hide what you have made of yourself and affect what you think of yourself, you have surrendered control over your own life and given it to them. Know yourself. Love yourself (and try to do this without needing someone else to do it for you).
- There is such a thing as winning in Legos…Self-explanitory, I think. I lost many times.
- The highs are worth way more than the lows. As I said before, there were many sour moments. But, there were also a few sweet moments. It could’ve been easy to hold onto the bad. To ignore the laughs I ended up sharing with them. To disregard the celebratory moments when they came home after acing their spelling quizzes. But what good would that have done? The good is worth more when you let it. So let it. Don’t hold a grudge. It’s usually not necessary, and you’ll end up missing out on things. I can tell you with complete honesty, that I remember all of the good times I shared with those boys and only about one or two of the bad times, even though there were plenty more bad times. So, I challenge you to choose to forgive, choose to live.
- Don’t count down your days. On those very stressful days, it was easy to begin to look at my calendar and count down how much time I had left before I had to leave. On one of my last days, I sat on the beach, squeezing my toes into the damp sand, inhaling the delicious, salty air, feeling the cool ocean breeze swirl around me. I almost kicked myself for counting down the days to leaving the beauty that is Spain, which is what I was unintentionally doing. Moreso, I ended up leaving earlier than expected because there weren’t any train tickets available on the original departure date. It sunk in that we really don’t know how many days we have left, either working here, visiting here, or even living here on this earth. So instead of spending your weeks counting down until the weekend, venture out to make each day great. They won’t all be great no matter how hard you try. But, I bet you can find something positive out of each day. You’re disappointed because you didn’t get the grade you wanted, but now you know how to study better next time. You’re tired because you left work late, but you have a job that pays your bills. Be thankful and don’t take anything for granted.
I know most of these things are easier said than done. But you can’t get to where you want to be without trying. So try it out. Be you. Be kind. Love yourself. Forgive others. And don’t take anything for granted. You only get one life. Make. The middle. Count.
“Open your eyes, what do you see? More possibilities? Does your new view give you more hope? That’s the goal, although it doesn’t always work out that way. Sometimes a shift in perspective just makes you see what you’ve lost.” -Meredith Grey, Grey’s Anatomy