If you know me, you know I love planning. Birthdays, nights out, nights in, trips, gifts…you name it, I’ve probably planned it. And it’s not because I’m a rigid person who needs things to go perfectly and well-timed.
It’s more because I like being the one to get a group together for some fun- be it a party with a bunch of people or a game night with a few friends. I like to put thought into gifts and birthdays to make sure the person feels special and important. And I’ve been known to plan these things many days, if not weeks, if not months, in advance.
I don’t think this is a bad thing, necessarily. However, when I make plans, I do try to stick to them as best as I can. And if they go awry, even though I try to make the most of it, I’m almost always haunted by what could’ve been.
But with this trip, many things are out of my hands. I think many people are surprised that I’m not really sure where I’ll be off to next, given I had my 21st birthday (birth-weekend really, since it lasted three days…) planned 6 months in advance. Regardless, I went into this knowing that disappointment usually follows expectations, and I wanted to avoid that. So instead I’m taking in life as it comes, like a wave, at times roaring with rage, at times soft and soothing.
Everything about Paris was unexpected. I didn’t even think I would make a stop there in the first place. The only thing I knew about those 2.5 days was where I was staying, when I was leaving, and that Sunday dinner started at 8. So imagine my pleasant surprise when I ended up having one of my best nights out.
An Austrian, Two Germans and an American walk into a bar…
On the night I arrived, I had no plans and no idea what to do. Lucky for me, my host, Jim, had another house guest who was my age. She ended up inviting me to tag along with her friends for a drink and a movie. I shamelessly and eagerly accepted the offer. I hadn’t been around people my age since Spain and was more than excited to see what college students in Paris are like.
We made our way to the meet up spot she had decided on with her friends. On the way, I learned she knew many languages, was studying art history, and had almost gone to Austin earlier this year. I was happy the conversation was flowing easily.
Of the four friends that were supposed to meet us at the stop, only one found his way to us, a tall, German guy who was studying philosophy at the university. We made a stop at a bar for a drink before we gave up on waiting for the others and headed to the theater.
There we found out there were no more tickets. A few minutes after this discovery, another friend of theirs showed up. He told me he was also German and knew them from a class they had together. Mid-conversation, he pointed at the Eiffel Tower, so I wouldn’t miss it as it lit up. “It’s so sparkly!” I said, unapologetically excited.
After a few minutes, the cinema idea was nixed altogether when they realized I wasn’t going to understand any of the films since none were in English or had subtitles.
I can honestly say I’ve never met people so considerate of assuring I didn’t feel left out. They spoke English and apologized when they strayed into French or German. Even though I’m really the one that should’ve been trying to speak French. They changed plans, so I didn’t have to sit through a film I wouldn’t understand. Even though I would’ve happily sat through the movie for the experience and out of courtesy to them; I was the one crashing their night after all. And they asked questions about my life with genuine interest. Even though finding out about them was far more interesting to me.
The four of us ended up going back to the bar from earlier. This time I ordered a whiskey and coke. Though I prefer it on the rocks, there was a special, and I hadn’t had one since leaving the States. It was a nice reunion. The group chatted away until we finished our drinks. Afterwards, we stopped by a quick mart where the guys bought chips and beer, and us girls bought a bottle of red wine to share.
We began walking, while I stopped and marveled at the lit up buildings, snapping a few pictures. At this point, I was thinking we were going to one of their places to drink and talk, similar to how some nights go back in Austin. I was wrong. We walked to the Seine river, sat on a bench by the banks, and drank and talked while restaurant boats and people passed by. That part of the night was one of my favorite moments from Paris.
I noticed other groups along the river were also drinking from wine bottles or beer cans. “This is so cool,” I said, ignoring how giddy and childish I sounded for the second or third time that night.
My “roommate” (for the next three nights) looked at me confused, “You’ve never done this?”
I shook my head, explaining how it’s kinda illegal in the States to just go around in public with open bottles like that.
We finished the wine and headed for the metro after the second German said his friends were djing at a club, and we could go see them. The only hiccup being he was the only one on the list and only had a plus one.
Simple math will tell you two of us had to wait in line and pay the cover. When we arrived, confronted by a bouncer and his clipboard, I saw a hand go up- a sure sign of a dibs being placed. My roommate mouthed a sorry before walking through the door.
But there are worse things than getting stuck in line with someone…especially when that someone is a good-looking German guy. We ended up playing 20 questions to pass the time, and it was nice getting to know someone new without distractions. Once inside, we found the other half of the group and went to the stage area. It was a techno set. Good beats but not as easy to dance to as the 2000’s throwbacks most bars in Austin play. Still, I had a good time and soaked in the new experience.
We danced some more, drank a bit more, and then decided to leave.
When I looked at my phone, I realized it was 3 AM. We had to take two buses to get home, but we made it safely, albeit half-asleep. I whispered a goodnight and many thanks to my new friend for the invite.
I slumped into my bed (one of the three couches Jim has in his living room), and checked my phone. It was almost 5 AM. In about four hours, I would be getting up to explore as much of the city as I could. Regret hit me as I scrolled through the pictures I had taken and found I hadn’t taken any with or of the group. But it slowly sunk in that I must have been too busy enjoying the moment to be documenting it.
I closed my eyes thinking about how fun the night was despite it going far from the original plans. The four of us going along with the unexpected, drinking wine by the Seine, seeing the Eiffel Tower sparkle from most of the spots we stood.
Maybe I got lucky with these three strangers. Maybe it was the magic of Paris. Maybe it was not having expectations from the beginning. Either way, I’ll always remember that one unexpected night I drank wine by the Seine.
Just Go With It
This night showed me, some of the best times can come from just taking a chance and going with it. Saying yes even though you won’t understand the film. Saying yes even though you don’t normally listen to that music genre. I also learned that to make it a great night, all you really need is good company and good conversation.
Every day I’m learning that welcoming the good, the bad, the new and the different is just a part of life. No matter how hard you plan, things will happen the way they’re meant to.
This doesn’t mean I’ll never plan. It is part of my personality to get excited about making lists of snacks and drinks and guests. Or noting when a friend says how much they like a food or movie or band, so I can have a thoughtful gift for their birthday. And apart from social events, having plans and goals is good. They help keep you focused and driven. The problem comes when you let these plans dictate your life and close your mind off to other possibilities.
You may see your plans through. You may see your plans fall. You may even realize that your original plans aren’t what you want anymore.
Don’t be afraid to change them; going after your happiness should be a priority. Don’t be sad when they fall through; it just means that wasn’t suppose to happen right now. Don’t be afraid to be lost when you don’t know what’s next; you will.
“It was amazing how you could get so far from where you’d planned, and yet find it was exactly where you needed to be.” –Sarah Dessen, What Happened to Goodbye?